My self-chatter can be brutal...

Hi beauty,

What you’re seeing is a lyrical dance workshop.

What you’re not seeing is the full-blown board meeting happening in my head while I do it.

“Point your feet.”

“Relax your shoulders.”

“Why are you making that face?”

“Interesting choice, Cal.”

“Was that contemporary or a minor medical episode?”

And yet.

Here I am.



Back in a dance studio in my midlife, after 20 years, two babies, a whole different body and approximately 74 identities later, learning choreography and throwing myself across a floor anyway.

Not because I feel wildly confident. Not because the self-judgement magically disappeared.

But because somewhere over the last year of consistently showing up to dance classes, I stopped waiting to feel ready, certain or perfectly comfortable before letting myself play.

And that’s been unexpectedly healing.

Because what I see when I watch videos back is honestly dependent on:

Where I’m at in my cycle

How regulated my nervous system is

Whether I’ve eaten enough protein

and which personality is holding the microphone that day.

Some days I watch myself back and think: “oh, she’s actually free.”

Other days: “absolutely not.”

But I keep dancing.

I keep learning counts that make my brain feel alive.I keep finding how movement lives inside THIS body now.I keep experimenting with shape and memory and expression and allowing myself to be seen before I’ve fully figured it out.

And weirdly, the gift hasn’t been less judgement. It’s been less obedience to the judgement.

And I think so much of life works like that.

The overthinking might still be there.

The self-doubt might still clear its throat occasionally.

The nervous system might still wobble.

The inner critic might still have opinions.

But little by little…I stopped handing it the microphone.

I have stopped organising my entire life around avoiding discomfort.I have stopped waiting to become a shinier version of myself before participating in my actual life.

I have stopped treating self-expression like something I have to earn.

And somewhere in there, something softened. Something opened. Something comes back online.

So in spite of the chatter…the overthinking…the self-evaluation…

What are you doing anyway?

Huge love,

PS: If you’re tired of carrying so much in your head all the time, I get it.

The women who find me are usually thoughtful, sensitive, self-aware humans who are holding a lot internally and quietly craving a little more peace inside themselves.

Not because they’re broken. Not because they need fixing.

Just because they want to feel more like themselves again.

That’s the kind of space I hold.

A place where you can untangle the noise, hear yourself more clearly, feel deeply supported and stop trying to “perform” growth perfectly.

Less pressure.  Less spiralling.

More honesty. More self-trust.

You’re always welcome.

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